I. Introduction

Cancer is combat. The warrior ethos applies.
––John Roberts

 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.
––The Bible: II Timothy 4

 Fight to fly, fly to fight, fight to win.
––Top Gun Motto

 For our discussion is about no ordinary matter, but on the best way to conduct our lives.
––Plato, The Republic

Every man, every civilization, has gone forward because of its engagement with what it has set itself to do. The personal commitment of a man to his skill, the intellectual commitment and the emotional commitment working together as one, has made the Ascent of Man.
––J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man, 1973

 If you have cancer, you must fight. You fight to stay alive, but also for much more. If you win the fight, you have added another new life to your old one. Even when you are prolonging your life or sure to die, you are still fighting for the other things, just as important: you are fighting for self-respect and dignity; you are fighting for peace and understanding; you are fighting for the ultimate reconciliation and love with your family and your spirituality. These are difficult challenges in the midst of your illness, but achieving these goals will give greater meaning to your life and overshadow the experience of dying.

This book is also for everyone else in the world of cancer: doctors, nurses, researchers, caregivers and loved ones, for their focus must not only be on the disease and its treatment but also on the patient who needs their help in the fight. The intent here is to explain and encourage the fighting spirit, strength and attitude that will contribute to greater quality and quantity of life. Everyone must work together as a team to make this happen.

Since the majority of people with cancer will be cured or die of something else, there is much in this book to help minimize the effects on one’s normal life while also preparing for the possibility of a recurrence. There are so many roads from diagnosis to death, whatever the cause, that one must be extremely flexible and versatile in dealing with whatever comes along. Eventually, death must be faced and fought, even if not from cancer.

For most of us, the subject of death should be faced squarely rather than denied, although not necessarily immediately while hope is prominent. Once this is done, the patient and those giving care, support and love may then deal with the issues and advice in this book that will make the entire process of living with cancer and the possibility of dying from it much easier. In most cases, ignoring the reality of impending death makes the remaining life, however long, more difficult. It is possible, indeed essential, to be realistic while maintaining hope and optimism.

Fighting cancer does not necessarily require that you carry on a belligerent and tough fight to the exclusion of a peaceful acceptance at the end. At some point, however long or brief the final acquiescence, I believe there is a valuable reward in using one’s spirituality to ease the final days. We might say that, as a fighter, you do not simply give up and let go, but rather design the end of the fight with your mental comfort in mind, whatever that may be.

Everyone in the cancer world is trying to do a better job of helping patients live, and helping them die as they wish. And, as I pass through this unique world, I have seen that almost everyone could do a better job of this, not only for the patient, but for themselves. There is no school for this for most of us. Even some trained and experienced doctors still have difficulty in dealing with it, for they must try to balance their compassion with the need to maintain their own unemotional state of mind over years of contact with the intense emotions of a multitude of dependant patients whom they do not know very well.

If you are a member of the world of cancer, professional or loved one, but not a patient, I ask you to consider your overall ability and motivation to help the patient try to prolong the quantity and increase the quality of life. Perhaps something in this book will help you to improve that, and to use your knowledge to motivate the patient to actively participate in, and, in many cases, to lead the fight.

If you are a patient, regardless of your condition or time remaining, I ask you draw from this book whatever you can find that will help you fight the disease aggressively and positively. There are enough thoughts here, mine and otherwise, that I know you can find something useful and motivating. If you can, I want you to take the lead, to take advantage of all the forces around you, and to build your own strength to lead yourself. Every leader must first command self before attempting to command others.

Those who are not cured will always be on the lookout for the symptoms of debility in those organs subject to the cancer and the body as a whole. As that progresses, there will be ups and downs, good times and bad, and the will to fight will come under increasing assault. Each person will reach a point where it seems certain that all hope is gone, and each person will have to decide when to accept this and whether or not to “rage” against it until all life is gone. Many, who have fought bravely and steadily, will finally decide that it is time to find peace in the short time remaining. Fighters can do this with self-respect, for it also has an important purpose.